Your family thought that you survived because God had a plan for you. But I did believe that there were mystical reasons why it didn't. GROSS: Did you grow up afraid of death and that it could take you at any moment?ĬARLILE: Yeah, kind of. And that was a glimpse that I got into the fact that that might not be so, and it had a lasting impact. And it's scary because you sort of need to see, I think, your parents as these kind of pillars and protectors. I saw parents that thought they were going to lose their child and that those parents, they cry. So from the get, I had that realization because I - you know, I saw my parents react understandably to me being a sick kid. But a lot of it is just based on what I've been told throughout my life and in a way that I felt when I came out of that, which is that I felt a little bit too in tune with how adults feel and how adults walk through the world, as opposed to how a child thinks adults walk through the world.ĬARLILE: Well, I think that the fallibility that gets exposed when you realize that your parents don't have any control over whether or not you live or die is not something you're supposed to really realize, I think, until you get a lot older. And I remember really specific things, kid things, you know, that you'd think a kid would remember, like, you know, what kind of toys I was given and, you know, what kind of food I ate and certain interactions with certain adults. But when you think about when you learned that you were in that world between life and death, what do you think about?ĬARLILE: I think I have really detailed abstract memories of that time. When you think about that moment, that period - and I know your memories of it - I'm sure you don't really remember being in a coma. And that's what I referred to before, getting meningitis when you were 4 and, you know, nearly dying, being in a coma and flat-lining several times while you were in the coma. So I think your book starts with a reason you might have felt like a misfit right from the start of your life. GROSS: That song is kind of about, you know, being a misfit, being excluded because of who you are, being seen as less than. TERRY GROSS: Brandi Carlile, welcome to FRESH AIR.ĬARLILE: Thank you. I see tugging on your shirt, trying to hide inside of it and hide how much it hurts. They can kick dirt in your face, Dress you down and tell you that your place is in the middle when they hate the way you shine. Don't ever let them steal, your joy and your gentle ways to keep 'em from running wild. Let's start with Brandi Carlile's song "The Joke," the song that won two Grammys in 2019.īRANDI CARLILE: (Singing) You're feeling nervous, aren't you, boy? With your quiet voice and impeccable style. And Tim is married to Catherine's sister. Phil is married to Carlile's younger sister, Tiffany. That group won three Americana Music Awards in 2020 and a Grammy for best country song in 2021.Ĭarlile and her wife, Catherine, have two daughters and live on a compound in the state of Washington with the Hanseroth twins and their children. Carlile is also part of the group The Highwomen, along with Amanda Shires, Maren Morris and Natalie Hemby. She met the Hanseroth twins, Tim and Phil, and they formed a band together that has stuck together. And she fulfilled her childhood dream of becoming a successful singer-songwriter. She felt like a misfit.īut things got better. And she was bullied and was a bully in school. She had tough times growing up - periods of poverty, moving around a lot with her family. It gets off to a dramatic start, with her near death from meningococcal meningitis at the age of 4. And she received a Record of the Year nomination for her song, "You And Me On The Rock." Terry interviewed Brandi Carlile last year about her memoir, "Broken Horses," which reached No. Her album, "In These Silent Days," is up for Album Of The Year. Today's guest, Grammy Award-winning songwriter, singer and guitarist Brandi Carlile, is poised to win more Grammys when winners are announced in February. I'm David Bianculli, sitting in for Terry Gross.
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